Piñata!
by Oreithyia
Summary: Ichigo tells Chad about a minor error in judgement on Orihime's part when she planned Yachiru's birthday party. Someone really should go find Ishida. Crack.


Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, or anything associated with it whatsoever. Alas, and woe.

Piñata!

"That idiot!"

Renji snarled into the reply he'd received from Ikkaku concerning the 11th Division paying to repair the demolished training building belonging to the 6th. Politely, the message could be said to read…

Well, there was no polite way to say it.

"Who does that Cue ball think he's dealing with?!" Renji fumed around his squad's main office. "I oughta string him up and beat him like a piñata 'til candy comes out!"

"Piñata?" A dangerously even-toned voice spoke from behind him.

Renji spun around so fast he nearly slung his shades of his forehead with the momentum. His captain was standing in the doorway.

"I heard that word frequently on my way back here today. Does it have anything with why the second training building is currently a pile of smoldering debris?"

Renji smiled apologetically and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, Cap'n, ya see…"

*****

"Oh man, it was awful."

Ichigo lay flat on his back, his arm flung across his eyes to protect them from the sun. Beside him, Chad was listening carefully. Or maybe he was just doing an impression of a boulder. With Chad it could be hard to tell.

The two boys were enjoying a rare uneventful day at school. They were supposed to be playing soccer, but the teacher didn't seem to mind that they were slacking off instead.

"The whole thing was such a bad idea," Ichigo continued griping. "Like the time the 11th Division tried to play polo with kittens and machetes, or Don Kanoji's…" Ichigo gestured with a hand trying to come up with a word, "…existence." He had heard Kusajishi Yachiru had brought a basket of abandoned kittens back from the real world to raise, only to have her squad grab them when she wasn't looking. None of the kittens had been hurt, but Yachiru blasted the guilty parties with reiatsu so powerful Ikkaku's hair still hadn't grown back.

"You should be glad you missed it, Chad." Ichigo never thought he would envy someone for having the intestinal flu, but when Inoue was involved, all bets were off.

Chad made a small sound of acknowledgement. At least that's what Ichigo thought that sound was. At this point he really didn't care.

*****

"Yay!"

Yachiru was bubbling over with enthusiasm as the piñata was hoisted into the air. Ichigo had discovered that Inoue had spent so much time in the Seireitei that she had begun keeping track of dates like birthdays like she would for human friends. Yachiru's, it turned out, fell on today. Ichigo had that distinct feeling this wasn't at all her real birthday; if you could count arriving in the Seireitei a birthday anyway. He didn't know why she picked this day, but it seemed to have something to do with cupcakes. Somehow.

Ichigo really had his doubts about this. Yachiru liked three things: Kenpachi, sweets, and copious amounts of bloodshed.

Not necessarily in that order.

Ichigo stood beside the tree that's limb was supporting the piñata Inoue had picked out. Why a piñata he didn't know. Inoue had found somewhere a bear shaped, honey colored piñata that looked like it had already suffered a few whacks and enthusiastically stuffed it with wasabi chews. Now he was holding the string that was attached to the piñata, ready to pull it out of Yachiru's reach as Inoue tied a blindfold around the miniature shinigami and began turning her in circles.

"One, two, and three!" After the third turn Inoue positioned the birthday girl, who was wearing a cat eared hood as well as cat paw mittens and slippers, to face the piñata. Inoue put the bokken they were using for a stick in Yachiru's mitten clad hands and jumped safely out of the way as the little pink-haired girl took her first happy swing.

Ichigo pulled the string and the piñata rose out of the way. Yachiru giggled happily and took another swing, missing again. Ichigo watched in relief as Inoue and few other well wishers cheered her on as she playfully took swing after swing, looking every bit the innocent little girl having fun.

He should have known that wouldn't last.

"What is this?"

Ichigo could see Kenpachi, fresh from a Captain's meeting, come strolling up. The hulking man looked at the tiny, smiling Yachiru cheerfully batting away at the piñata.

An evil grin split open the bottom half of his face. "Well, here. Let me get that."

Ichigo had just enough time to mutter, "Um, Kenpachi," before a rusty zanpakuto was unsheathed, and a proud warrior ruthlessly disemboweled a helpless, innocent piñata.

The candy spattered to the ground and Yachiru, who had been obliviously swinging away, paused at the noise. She paused and lifted up one corner of her blindfold to see her candy on the ground, and Kenpachi standing over it, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Ken-chan!" She cried out in dismay as Inoue rushed over to inspect the damage. Kenpachi looked puzzled as Yachiru's lower lip began to tremble and she looked regretfully at the half-a-piñata swinging above her. Kenpachi frowned.

"Huh?"

Inoue, thinking on her feet, turned to Yachiru with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Yachiru-chan! The rest of it is still up there. Try to knock the rest of it down!" Inoue backed away, towing a still totally lost Kenpachi with her, and Ichigo readied to pull the piñata up again.

Then he felt the reiatsu began to build…

*****

"I guess she didn't want to be outdone at her own birthday party," Ichigo sighed wearily. "She blew away every building in front of her for three blocks."

"Icchi."

Ichigo sat bolt upright as Yachiru herself came skipping over the grass. Ichigo blinked as he and Chad watched the girl approaching. Why was she in the living world?

She put forward a little bundle of cloth. "Unohana-taichou said I should thank Orihime for the party since I forgot to. I brought her some cookies I took from Bya-kun."

"Well, she's over there, on the soccer field," Ichigo said as pointed towards the field. As he did, he saw a familiar figure creeping around the base of a nearby tree, trying to spy on the girls without being seen. His eyes narrowed. Kon. What did he think he was doing?

Yachiru spotted Kon, too. Her bright eyes blinked once, then her mouth split into a bright, viscious smile.

"Piñata!"

Ichigo and Chad watched her descend with malevolent delight on Kon. He spotted her and squawked in terror before taking off running while being closely pursued by a giggling Yachiru, her zanpakuto whirring like the blades of a hyperactive lawnmower.

Ichigo was quite for a second. "One of us should go find Ishida," he said to Chad.

The taller boy nodded slightly.

"Yeah."

* * *

AN: I know the piñata is not typical in shape or color, but that is part of the point. Orihime unknowingly bought a crappy piñata.

The accessories Yachiru is wearing are from the Shinigami Illustrated Picture Book 197.

Review if you like it!


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